Emotional Intelligence

Daniel Goleman in his book, Working with Emotional Intelligence says that EI is “The capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.” There are a number of key areas underpinning the model that are very useful in all aspects of my work.

Self awareness is our ability to understand ourselves, our emotions and drives, both our strengths and weaknesses. ‘I recognise how feelings affect me. I have openness to feedback and development. I have confidence based on real strengths.'

Self management is about exercising self control but also about harnessing our drives to motivate ourselves. ‘I learn to manage my feelings and impulses. I choose my words carefully. I avoid hasty judgements. I follow through on promises. I am open to new ideas and I am adaptable in the face of new situations. I can motivate myself to achieve. I can take appropriate action to make the most of opportunities in the future.'

Social awareness is about empathising with others at an individual and group level. ‘I listen to others. I understand others' perspective. I sense how others are feeling. I empathise at a group level'.

Relationship management is the aspect that results in impacting positively on others. ‘I am involved with teamwork and collaboration. I am involved in developing others. I offer positive leadership. I influence other people.'

Unfortunately many of the young people that I come into contact with, who already have a history of offending behaviour, demonstrate a very low level of Emotional Intelligence. It is not unusual when couple counselling to find that there is a poor level of understanding; an inability to recognise feelings and poor emotional management. Similarly with coaching, some clients attend because they know that they lack the motivation and drive to move forward. There are of course exercises and activities that you can carry out with individuals, couples and groups to increase their sensitivity, understanding and self management.

 

If you would like to know more about how I use Emotional Intelligence in my work please do not hesitate to contact me paul.vittle@lifecoachilgplus.co.uk